Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Why do people feel they NEED to find a ';special someone'; of opposite gender for a long term relationship?

is it really necessary or just a wish that can be even detrimental to someone?

please explain.

why some seem so happy WITHOUT a ';special someone'; too? who they spend time with and what they do , work etc?..lol

please explain

btw, which area of the world you are and how common to see this there and what you think of these types who are single and happy?

thanks for your answers!Why do people feel they NEED to find a ';special someone'; of opposite gender for a long term relationship?
It sounds like a personal choice. Some people are better off single, and some people feel that they need someone who loves and cares for them on an intimate level. It's not detrimental, because like you mentioned, some people are happy without it. Some people may seem happy without that ';special someone'; because some people just like to be to themselves more. Some people prefer solidarity, and consider having a significant other a hindrance or a chore. I am in Hartford, Connecticut. Here, most everyone has someone, but most of the relationships don't last for a very long period of time. Most people who are single and happy are only like that after they get out of a relationship, namely a bad one. This happens because they are so used to being with someone and not being their own person, and once given the opportunity to do so, they jump at the chance. I hope this helped!Why do people feel they NEED to find a ';special someone'; of opposite gender for a long term relationship?
It is in our biological/physiological makeup to be monogamous.

It just human nature for someone to want to find somebody else to spend their life with.
That's like asking why do the birds fly?


Why does a tree grow?

its human nature, were complex,emotional, and need the interaction, nurturing and feelings it brings to Love another person, without that we would merely be like robots.
Think of things from a biological standpoint. Women want to find a mate to have children with and to protect them. Men want to find a women to mate with and to spread their gene's. All the talk about ';love'; and a ';special someone'; is all cultural crap that has spun off of our basic biological desires.
We're biologically and socially made to feel we should be with one person. The thing is, the average lifespan has doubled in a very short space of time. 200 years or so ago people would marry, spend 25 years together, enough time to raise children to their teenage years and then reach their 40's-50's, and die of old age. So, staying with one person worked out quite nicely. Now, we live to 80 or longer, so if we marry in our 20's we're expected to spend 60 years with this one person, it's not impossible but it does become much more difficult. People change drastically in 60 years, physically and intellectually, if you've been with somebody this long, they aren't really the same person you fell in love with anymore. The sad thing is i think when people reach a certain age they stay together out of fear of being alone rather than love
The need is public opinion,especially your Mom's.

Dare I say things have changed?

The Special someone I think is a new twist.

Someone,used to suffice.

We live longer and better with a partner.Fact.

I live in farm country outside Montreal.

My girlfriend lives in suburban Montreal.

2 male friends seem content being single

saying the hurt losing their life loves

too traumatic to relive.

Female friends seem happy,but the kids thing

always comes up.

On the farm,I have investigated solitude,

its not all its cracked up to be.(short term is great)

Don't confuse companionship with someone special.

Or,maybe do.To each his own,perhaps?
we are divided for Love's sake,

for the chance of Union...
It's what we want.

It does seem 'necessary.'

It is pretty much why we were born (it seems). It feels like if it is our main goal.

I mean, it's love.

Love is VERY important to our lives.

Without feeling loved, we can develop unhealthy mental health.

I've never met someone that was happy without a significant other. If you're 60, and alone seems like a sucky idea.

I'm in the USA.

It doesn't seem to make people happy...
I think that the reason humans feel that they need to have a single life-long partner in order to be happy is because the society that we currently live in tells us that we will be unhappy if we are single. Man is not set up for monogamy. We are programmed to reproduce as much as possible with as many people as possible. However, society tells us that this is wrong behavior and that we need to devote ourself to one person forever. That's my thought on the subject.
Marriage was invented fairly recently by the church, who knows what we used to do before then? We don't need to, you've only been conditioned to. Of course it's a good way to keep parents together so as to raise good children.

In my opinion if you want children then yes you need to find someone special to do this with which entails you to enter a long term commitment, ie long term relationship with so your children will have a better chance of being normal.

I do believe in the future we shall move away from the marriage concept and we shall have our soul mate and our lovers. The only reason why we can't sh ag about is the jealousy thing. Jealousy implanted in our emotional selves for the use of holding onto one partner to help look after the kids and protect. This is why the jealousy thing resides more with the woman... We don't live as hunter gathers in the scary woods anymore so this trait is now set for devolution as it is of no use living in such a safe and secure environment. If anything jealousy is just adding extra stress on our already over stressed lives.

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