Wednesday, August 18, 2010

If parents delay marriage for two engaged couple...?

so if two individuals a girl and a guy are engaged, and would desire marriage soon, but parents want to delay another year after already delaying many years, because they want to throw a big wedding

by saving money for an entire just to throw a wedding) but the couple want a simple nikah, and want to be pronounced husband and wife so they can have a halal relationship, how to go about with that? if he two individuals, want it already and don't want to wait further because they feel ready for marriage emotionally and mentally and would also like to avoid haram acts especially zina, how to convince traditional minded parents who feel they have to throw a huge wedding because people will ';talk'; that they didn't do nothing big. is it better the girl and guy just get a nikah their self? w/o the parents consent, even though they tried to get the parents to do something but they just ignore it and feel to wait and having it after a whole year. if the girl and guy are the age of 21 and above is it ok for them to get married on their own...

proper answers plz. thanksIf parents delay marriage for two engaged couple...?
“Be not Excessive”

Allaah warns the believers many times in the Quran not to be extravagant. He, Almighty, Says (what means): “And [they are] those who, when they spend, do so not excessively or sparingly but are ever, between that, [justly] moderate.” [Quran 25: 67] He, Almighty, also Says (what means): “O children of Adam, take your adornment [i.e., wear your clothing] at every mosque, and eat and drink, but be not excessive. Indeed, He likes not those who commit excess.” [Quran 7: 31]

Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet said: ';The worst food is the food of a wedding feast to which the rich are invited and the poor are left out. If anyone rejects an invitation, he has rebelled against Allaah and His Messenger.” [Muslim, Ibn Maajah and At-Tabaraani]

Ibn Mas’ood also said: “If only the rich are invited and the poor are left out, we have been ordered not to respond to such an invitation.”

this is an invalid reason to delay marriage.....advice themIf parents delay marriage for two engaged couple...?
Talk to their parents and explain to them what they want is just to get married and they don't want a big wedding. Explain to them if they are not married they may commit a sin which is not good for them.

I find that often when children talk to their parents they come to a understanding. the parents do love their children and want the best for them. The problem with the modern world is no one really talks to their parents about their feeling and parents often dont know what their kids feel.
first of all engagement is not an Islamic custom.

in Islam one can get married when he/she enters puberty age. for men permission of parents is not compulsory but for ladies it is.

Islamic system of marriage is nikah in Masjid and Walima the same day or can be the next day. people should come eat and go no sitting and chatting. spending a lot of money is not allowed on marriages and Prophet Mohamed(PBUH) avoided such marriages and he asked his Umah to avoid such marriages.

in your case you are right and your parents are wrong. you can get married in Masjid.

i think you are from India or Pakistan. because such marriages are common in this part of the world.

i avoid such marriages. i didn't attend my uncle's marriage because of all this nonsense.
speak to your parents...or an elder in the family who has influence on your parents...tell them how you feel..

tell parents rather than spending lavishly on your wedding they give you the money so you can build the foundation to your married life...

or you could request that your nikah is done...and a yr later they throw the party...

May Allah assist us all..

May He give us pious spouses and children
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