Wednesday, August 18, 2010

How should I approach my mother about my depression?

Okay, so I'm fifteen years old,

and since I was 12 or 13, I've been in and out of periods of serious depression.

It's normal for most teenagers to feel depressed when they have a relationship break up or whatever, but that's not my case. I have a good life, and I have a lot going for me. But from time to time I get extremely overwhelmed to the point where I have panic attacks, I can't sleep or eat, and I can cry for hours without reason. Sometimes my thoughts even become suicidal. This used to be a periodical thing that was simple to deal with, but over the last six months, it's become almost unbearable.

Major Depression is genetic in our family and I attribute it to be the cause. My mom has it as well.

I've tried talking to my mom in the past, but she can be a very difficult person.

I've told her about how I've been feeling, and she's noticed from my behavior. I go to regular counseling but since my depression doesn't have a definite source it really isn't helping. I'd like to try medication, but I don't know how to approach her. When ever I bring up my depression she either says:

- that I'm a drama queen and I just say that for attention

- that I'm just a teenager and it will all blow over in time

I'll admit I can be a drama queen, but I wish she'd take me seriously. I've given it time, and NOTHING is improving, it's actually getting worse. How can I get my mother to take me seriously and consider medication?How should I approach my mother about my depression?
Have you asked your counselor these questions? Maybe he or she would have a good idea.

How about telling your family doctor? You could make an appointment for something else and then when you get there, you could tell him what you told us. Then he may prescribe you something or refer you to a specialist who could prescribe something. Maybe you could just tell your mom you're going to the doctor for some other reason (maybe your sinuses, or stomach aches, or anything, just whatever).

Try telling your mother that depression can be hereditary, and if she has it, it is very likely that you could too. And remind her that being a teenager does not make depression less severe - in fact, it may be even more painful for a teenager because they don't have the life experience to know how to deal with it. This is very serious and she ought to listen to you. But you can't change her of course, so you need to find a way to get the help you need for yourself if she doesn't agree to take you seriously.

Please call a suicide or crisis hotline if you need to. People who think of suicide do not usually really want to end their lives. They want to end the pain. But ending your life is not the way to end the pain. Getting treatment and skills for coping is what you need, so that you can get through this depression and have a joyful good life. Do not lose hope in that. Depression does end, and joy comes to take its place eventually, even if right now, it may not seem like that's possible.

A crisis line may be a good idea. You can call anonymously if you want, and they may be able to direct you on how to solve this problem with your mother and get the meds you need.

I wish you the best, I hope you get better soon!How should I approach my mother about my depression?
If your mom won't listen, talk to your counselor. He/She can help you on ways to approach your mom better. I had to actually bring my parents into counseling with me for one of my appointments before they finally got it. Your mom might be scared of you having it. She might think that if she denies it enough, it will go away. If she has it, she knows what it's like. Depression is a very, very scary thing. It's better to catch when you're younger. Keep pressing. If counseling alone isn't doing it for you, you can be put on low doses of anti-depressents and still live a normal life.

Keep your head up, okay? Just keep trying and don't give up.
You could write her a very heartfelt letter, explaining that you don't know how to tell her these things in person because she doesn't react well. Or you can approach her and just try and ease into telling her, but if it hasn't worked in the past maybe a letter would be a better idea. Good luck and I hope things go well.

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