Wednesday, August 18, 2010

How can i get my fiance to forgive me of cheating?

my story is very complicated....i been with my fiance 2 years. 1 year boyfriend and 1 year fiances. while i was boyfriend and girlfriend....i cheated not by being with another woman....but i share with messages with my ex from when i was in Junior High School. now im 28. before i was with my fiance i was on a 7 year relationship. i start young and really and i was very naive it was my first serious relationship if you can even call it that....well i came out of that relationship really screw. i should have gave myself time before i jump into another so i can see how it is to be in the messages that i wrote to my ex from when i was in junior High was 1 year and 4 month ago and my fiance found out 6 month ago. i love my fiance with all my heart i didn't had any motive or getting with my ex i never saw her or called the last time i saw was about 7-8 year ago. i was just joking around. talking nonsense, but it was can i get her to ever forgive fiance is my life and i honestly didn't know any better since i didn't had nothing but to series relationships in my life. and the first one was really got me messed up...i know you ya'll all say once a cheater always a cheater. that is so not true cuz i am to my girl all that all ya'll girls been saying that ya'll want from a man since we been together.....we always on the phone, we are always together, she always know where im at or who im with....but the majority of the time if im not at work im with her and if im at work im in the phone with her....we literally we do everything can i get to forgive........i know in my hear and in my mind there is no there girl for me then her. and i would never do her wrong.How can i get my fiance to forgive me of cheating?
1 - you probably should not have given her your passwords, etc. This will not make her trust you any more because she'll feel like you will never do anything sneaky since you know she has the ability to check your accounts.

(I am confused as to when this was? The text messaging. You said ';now the messages that i wrote to my ex from when i was in junior High was 1 year and 4 month ago...';. So, you wrote the messages in junior high, or 1 year and 4 months ago? I'm sorry, it's confusing to me.)

# 2 - It will take time. Regardless of whether or not you acted it on it or not, those kinds of things are hurtful. The fact that it was done sneakily probably makes her feel like your feelings were still there and makes her inferior. I can imagine it would make any woman feel that way.

# 3 - Your best bet is probably going to be just profusely apologizing to your fiance and giving her time to allow her to trust you. ASK her what she feels will help her forgive you. She may not have an answer for you right away but asking her is going to be best. It shows that you mean it and that you care about her opinions and her, in general. She feels insecure right now so you need to do as much as you can to make her feel the polar opposite, without over doing it - that could become obnoxious and she may take it as you are trying too hard and not take it for real.

Everyone makes mistakes; but sometimes people make mistakes after mistakes after mistakes. What's probably going through her mind right now is: ';If I caught him in this, how do I know he's not hiding anything else? How do I know he won't do it again?'; Trust is hard to gain, and easy to lose. It's even harder to trust someone after they've betrayed you. She needs reasons to know that you are not misleading her about anything else, and you need to give it time to redeem yourself so that she can trust you in the future. Good luck.

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