Tuesday, August 10, 2010

How hard is it to be in a relationship when someone else has a kid?

If you've met someone you like, but they have a kid, how hard is it? What do you have to expect? What if the other person is battling it out in court and the child support is horrendous? As in, you can't really afford to do anything. Is this more trouble than its worth? And I like to go out, but the kid is always with us, except for like maybe 1 weekend in the month.How hard is it to be in a relationship when someone else has a kid?
its as if they have a kid only they rly do have a kidHow hard is it to be in a relationship when someone else has a kid?
i'm 22 and my husband has two kids. i went from going out going to lowes on the weekends. he pays 430 a month for one child and we have the other. the hardest thing is dealing with the other parent. we are also expecting our first child and there will have to be major rule changes because his kids get away with things i would never dream of letting my child do. BUT.... i love both of those kids more than anything in this world. every second spent with them has been terrific. it is very very hard sometimes coming in as the step parent or what not but you have to evaluate wht you want with your life. once there are kids in it whether or not they are yours life is no longer about you so if you arent ready to give up the social scene then you should leave now before the kids get too attached. my husband and i still go out and have fun it just has to be planned out a little better. since you say ';the kid is always with us'; it seems its safe to say you havent bonded to well with the child. you can make the attempt and you could have the greatest blessing in the world but if you arent ready for that then alot of feelings are going to get hurt later on down the road.
its a pain in the butt, i just broke up today with a girl who has a kid

i could never get her out , because of the kid, i couldnt watch a good movie , because of the kid

we couldnt have decent sex because he might hear

and it just goes on and on
if you like her you accept her with a kid
That depends. Who's paying child support? It sounds like your partner has custody and has to pay child support. Children require many sacrifices: time, money, energy, patience. And it is a lifelong commitment. My husband married me and inherited my son in the process. It was extremely challenging at first, but he has come to love him as his own and has had a tremendous influence on my son. He is more of a father to him than his own. At first they were just friends, but as the relationship grew so did the tensions. My husband had to go from being a friend to being an authority figure and that created a lot of dissension. My husband did a lot for my son, and at first my son didn't appreciate any of it. I got caught in the middle trying to diffuse the situation and making everyone happy. And most of our fights centered around my son. My son was everything to me, but I had to learn to take my husband's side in disciplining him and not letting him disrespect my husband. Your partner has their own discipline techniques and their child is not going to want to listen to you. The biggest challenge for you is going to be discipline. And the other ';fun'; parent is not going to make it easy for you as they try to compensate by spoiling the child. The absent parent will also create turmoil for the child through their inconsistency. You will be viewed as the enemy for a time, until the child is old enough to realize that you care more for them than the absent parent. But this takes time, effort, and patience. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that everything is going to be easy. But you ask ';is this more trouble than its worth?'; and I say ';absolutely not'; because of the bond that you will have with this child. But if you are not ready for this kind of commitment, then I say leave now before you form a bond, because the child doesn't need any more abandonment issues.
It's hard because they really can't give their full attention because they always have to be concerned about their child.

No comments:

Post a Comment